Like I do my homework on my desk. Right in front of you as you walk in is my blue patterned desk with my small, white basketball hoop hanging above. In total I have 9 hats that make my room stand out and the brands on many are monster energy, Billabong e.t.c. A lumpy duvet lies messily on the thick mattress that cradles me at night. So in conclusion i have told you about the 4 main points of my bedroom and hope you have got a good understanding of my bedroom. Some of your words are a little bit repeated. But this is a bad thing for me because my bed is as you know against a window which means freezing water goes into my covers at night. The cast on When I get up in the morning to go to school, or after a big sleep-in, my toes touch the soft dark carpet. As the sun beamed into my bedroom, one of my signs began to glisten and reflect the light that was coming through the window. eg Self fun. The colours in your room must be very bright with the sun on it and I can visualise your room. And I have dirty plates on my floor because when I get home from school I will get something to eat then go lay on my bed, then I forget to take them out of my room. Pretty good if only you could see how i see your bedroom. Then your eyes are carried to my dark coloured wooden dresser underneath the back window to the left. The tabletop itself is dusty with dried gum and I think even an empty skittles packet. For self fun and study. Again, were applying the feelings of being at home (relaxation and comfort) to some other situation and achieving this by making a comparative metaphor. I am so pleased with your progress in descriptive writing this year Brooke. Also I have bad eyesight so It Is really hard to see my tv from my bed. Another person who might call their home a prison could be someone who feels like theyre sick of being at home on vacation and wants to go back to school. Theirs the unbearable feeling of not being able to find anything and always having to resort to yesterday's old grungy smelly shirt that you chucked on the floor after you got home the day before, or just having to use week old socks by spraying deodorant on them so they don't smell bad because you seemed to have misplaced every other pair. At the bottom of the bed I have a bright red cover I keep it there just in case there's a cold night so if there is I can pull it over my bed for more warmth. Posters are another thing people have in their room, in my room I have one poster of a 3D of a coral reef. The furniture is a nice light brown. It's not really the best looking room because it's really messy and has light pink wallpaper. The best part of my room is the furniture and layout. You could add more information on the accessories in your room. So over all the 4 main things that i love about my room are style , layout ,accessories and furniture. Senses are all over the show when it comes to my room. Adjectives can describe the general, overall quality of the smell. The simplest way to make a metaphor is to use this pattern: First noun + to be verb + a/an + second noun She is an angel. For me and my sisters to fit in our room the room has to be laid out a specific way, but it is pretty comfy. At the end of the expedition we leave a wonderful place and head back into the real world. A cool breeze drifts in from an open door or window. On the far wall where the window is there is beautiful multi-coloured painting of a cow and in the right hand wall there is a small built in wardrobe with a mirror on one of the doors and on the other there is the same deep sea green as on my feature wall. 4+, Oh my goodness Jake! 9 years ago. To the right of my bed is my set of wood stained brown patterned drawers with my guitar up against them. The cleanliness of my room is not good at all. Often, home is the place where we feel safest. Your vocabulary is really cool, but I think that you could have some more adjectives. It describes your room well. You can imagine someone who has just installed a brand new security system might say: my home is a vault! My most special thing in my bedroom is my glowing dragon it isnt very big but it lights up at night time and gives a bright glow of rainbow colors. I personally like the way my bedroom feels and looks. It can survive an entire month of cleanliness before succumbing to the fall of clothes and chocolate wrappers. My lamp is blue with a very bright light. I have a bed right in the middle of my squarish room, which takes up quite a bit of space, but I like it that way. Across from that is an immense window, and finally, a built in wardrobe, containing various unfolded garments. Definitely need to work on your vocabulary and sentences as it seems to be repetitive. Well I have a double bed that is really comfy and warm, a laundry basket that is full. it has a good layout and the furniture is nice. By William Middleton. Well Done Jakey Muss x. KADENS BEDROOM Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Writing By Brody Kershaw. I have loads of different accessories in my bedroom. But all of this is because the entire house is new, in fact it's not even finished!, although with all these bonuses I don't go into my bedroom that often. They dont like the feeling every day of having to entertain themselves at home! R5. One of the necklaces is a sharp sharks tooth from Cairns and a golden dragon necklace from Yorkshire. Thanks to those paintings my room has some colour. Accessories, accessories are big in my room because I picked them personally and they were given to me as gifts but they are apart of my favorite things. I look towards the mountain it is covered with the blinding white snow. Secondly, the wall decorations. There are so many aspects of my bed I love but my favorite one would have to how comfortable it is. The style of your room to me is a dark and bright theme with all the colours and design. I also have a painting of Clifton Beach (where we lived in Australia) that I did with a friend, it is hanging over my bed. Good job colt. It might not seem like your average 13 year old bedroom because really this bedroom wasn't even for me, it was meant to be a spare room. let me know your thoughts? My trusty pair of working socks, a tatty old picture of scooby-doo and last years embarrassing school photos. It has a flexible neck which can turn about 160 degrees, as well as being able to slightly tilt up and down. In my room I have a cactus and a succulent plant on my bedside table. My most favorite piece of furniture in my room is most definitely my bed because its where I spend most of my time and when you spend time with something like that for that long you're sure to end up getting attached to it, but anyway my bed is my favorite thing in my room because its warm when I want warm and cool when I want cool and plus its majorly comfy. I like how you made them all simple but have a bit of depth. And I don't have to worry about other siblings entering my space. Its small and cluttered, so there's no where to move. There is just the right amount of furniture in my room and it isnt too full or empty. must suck cock. My bedroom layout includes two sets of windows, both made with with grey aluminium and double glazed glass. The couch in the corner is also like a trunk that holds most my stuff. The style of my room is very rustic and original. The storage is great because it is hidden away above my wardrobe, which is built into the wall, although most of my stuff goes under the bed. My bedroom is down the small hallway and to the right. (The shark's teeth are sharp.) It sounds like the perfect place to go after school or work and feel comfortable and relaxed. Your story was very descriptive and had good describing words. I like it. Chris Trousdale Cause Of Death, I think that it is still also good to keep using basic words. My room has many accessories, there is pictures, paintings, plants and other things too. My walls are plain white with all my pink and blue colours scattered around my room. My room is big and there is lots of space to do fun activities like board games and flips. On my shelf there are wooden airplanes that I have designed and made with my granddad that can tell you I like woodwork. Three quarters of my room is engulfed in clothes and mess. Running down the old wooden corridor a floorboard squeaked underneath my pounding feet. Even though my room hasnt got much in it, my room is the tidiest bedroom there. Finally is my headset it is a turtlebeach recon 60P with a black base and a cool funky design on the base. My bedroom isn't that big so storage isn't easy for all of the clutter I have. My favorite thing in my bedroom is my drums they are blue and black but look purple in the light. I LOVE THE DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF THE THINGS YOU CAN SEE OUT YOUR WINDOW. When you look around my room you can see a whole bunch of different things, if you climb above all the dirty clothes, theres all of my furniture, my radiator and a whole load of colours. You have described some things though. At first I was a little surprised of the state of my bedroom, my wall decorations all still hanging up all except for one little photo. Petas Bedroom The next best thing about my bedroom is the accessories that make the room mine. Next to that rug is my bean bag which is blue with a flame on it which is also blue. My bed, My bed is a single bed it is in my opinion very noisy but also very comfy. Also some of you words are slept wrong or used in the wrong context. So I think that I don't really have a style because it just a bit of everything some old stuff and some new stuff. When you walk in, on the left is a window and a desk, straight forward is a gigantic, wide window and to the right is my bed, wardrobe and heater. With the windows closed it is a musty un-fresh smell and quite hot. Tropical, Sporty, Comfy, Tidy and Spacious. You're spelling was really great, I don't think I found a single error. On my bed I have, to be precise three cushions and two pillows that are all multi coloured. I liked how your story told a true picture of how your room is. I like the fact that all your ideas were relevant and made sense to the topic. Everyday Life Metaphors. My bedside table is cream with a draw that is woven and basket like. My bed is the most comfortable and cosy thing in my whole entire room. On one of the walls, near the corner is a little round painting of a light blue owl from my hometown Raglan along with another small, colourful painting of the words I love you. It is placed next to my bed and upon it is a long, skinny lamp with pink polka dots on it. 6. as noisy as the market. Moving on from the layout of my bedroom to the layout of my walls. well done, BRIDGETS BEDROOM Also there were some little things like having i instead of I that you could of fixed. My bedroom isnt so great. My room is filled with colours I love like yellow, green and BLUE. They are happy to enjoy the predictable lives they have, rather than search for an exciting purpose in their existence. These windows have a beautiful view in spring when all of the flowers have bloomed. your writing was very descriptive but maybe some more advanced vocabulary needed. My PS4 is tall and black with a blue light going across it and it has a futuristic look to it. LOGANS BEDROOM Great detail in your paragraphs Jessie. My favorite place in the whole house, my space, my pride and joy, my happy place where I spend most of my time. I enter the room and dump my bulky school bags onto the ground. However there is only one change I can offer, that is a change of colour to a blue or a nice green, maybe even a feature wall. I enjoy the fact that everything is very detailed in the way of being described. Although there are many flaws in my room, Im still tolerating them. But the worst thing about having a messy room is the feeling that you have of dreading about actually cleaning it. It has three drawers with coloured red, yellow and green and they hold some of my clothes. Your next step is to improve your grammar and punctuation. A few more sensory descriptions of your room maybe but we would happily rate you 4+. squishy, soft, lumps and bumps. 4-Because you had good adjectives. It is a king single with 2 gold pillows and a gold king double size blanket, with the window next to it, so my bed and my pillows get soaked and thats always a laugh in my house for some reason. 4. as bright as a day. No one can get in except for me. Its a room I am proud to call my own. My bedroom is a deep freeze. I need to make sure the cloths are not on my desk they need to be in my dresser or in my closet. I have to share my room with my big brother, Sam. My room has lots of storage places to put clothes and stuff in and a big window to look out. I really liked that you had some really awesome words in your writing that really hooked me in and made it more intresting to keep on reading along. I like my room because it is my own space. I have the white bedside table right next to my bed because well i need something to put my drink on, and I think that's the same for my sister. It has two doors, one window that opens slightly and two loud heaters that break the cold silence in the night. These windows also include a door, that leads out into one of three gardens at my house. I have heaps of shells laying around the room and of course the posters and paintings of the beach. I like the feel, the carpet, my bed and the size of it. Looking a bit further up you can see a sky light, the plastic that covers it from the reflective tube in the attic isnt fastened properly so if somebody slams a door somewhere it vibrates and makes such a commotion. It is uses lots of descriptive language but after a comma you have put a capital like never made, One big and you have my bedroom has One build in wardrobe do you mean one built in wardrobe other than that I liked it, You've used punctuation correctly I don't really see any errors but full stops in the right place, capital letters well done. At the foot of my bed there is a built in wardrobe with lots of clothes and at the foot of my sisters bed theres the entrance to the room and the door to the en suite. My accessories, however arent as basic as my furniture, but rather the opposite. Also my room is full of stuff to have fun with but my favorite thing to do is make cool trickshot area so I can record them and post them on to my YouTube channel. This is the exact opposite of the earlier metaphor saying that your home is a workplace. 7. as broad as Heavens expanse. great work i love that you did good punctuation and it was a good story. Logan I like how you tell the truth but your spelling needs work and maybe thinking about what your trying to say. Brown that stands out because of the shine. Very descriptive though - well done! My favourite rooms is my bedroom. Georges Bedroom Use adjectives. It is a stationary calamity! Which is what I did that day. My king single is the comfiest thing I have experienced with the reasonably old springy mattress that's kind of like a sink hole when you lie in it. At Christmas time, a lot of families go to all sorts of lengths to have their house lit up from the outside. Sheep are dotted around a field of copious green, munching greedily away. I have a foam pillow, so my head just sinks in. I hope you can imagine my very much loved bedroom in your mind as if you're there at my house. I really liked that you used some really great words that have me hooked in. My room has an area where I keep drawing and pictures, an area for me to keep my collections. A stout red beanbag accommodates a spot near the middle of the room. Ruebens bedroom In your writing I have noticed that you need to improve the proper use of functuation. make sure it's extra creamy!! My walls are plain white and the carpet is a nice, soft contrasting dark colour. I love the furniture in my room it makes it feel as if I am in a dream. Beware of the wardrobe if you go underneath it something is bound to fall on your head or all my stuff will avalanche out. Other than using my bedroom for sleeping I use it for quiet time, keeping up with what's on social media and sometimes doing my homework. Usually when I have to make space/ tidy my room I put stuff in the wrong place. Now my bedroom has amazing accessories such as the the useful charger plug built into the wall! My carpet is a kinda light blue with dark blue lines through it and I also have my rug which has a black background and white zig zag lines on it. The jewelry box once belonged my wonderful Mother. R4. Its a 2-door car with gray rim color and custom white tires. Then, you were talking about how the home had turned into a place of work. My accessories are very colourful, my pens and pencils are all kinds of colours. Great writing Shadyn really liked it, I still ant that ps4 of yours though! I roll around on it and it feels great. Colors are a big part in my bedroom because the colors describe who I am and what my personality is like because I am a person who prefers darker colors. Your full stops and capital letters are very good. I have a blue stegosaurus lampshade, a monitor and PS4, a TV and even a bulletin board. But it was good. So my bed is messy, but in general my room isnt all that messy. Great descriptive peace of writing and it really felt like I was in your room. One child might be working on a project on the floor, another one jumping on the couch, and another crying in the bedroom. The carpet packs a warm feel to the room as it completes it and gives it a nice finish. The theme of my bedroom is simply my favourite things. There are multi-coloured paper butterflies scattered all over the pale purple walls, swarming in corners and perching on the edges of family photographs. This table was my sisters and it has mascara stains on it. why are clocks (The ones u hang on the wall) still important in the digital age? I think your room is very descriptive James, I think you did a good job on this description. In my room sometimes you can hear quite a lot of things but mostly its my siblings or music. A few things to fix up but over all it was good. Some of its correct. List of Metaphors for Home. Even my parents say it is ugly. What my theme is. Near where this wall joins the feature wall there is another painting. Thorntons Bedroom Description I have been in your room but I think you have to clean your room before a gest gets there a ha ha 4. 5. as narrow as a hole. You could work on the adjectives but otherwise very good. I have my normal bag that I take to school everyday, my blue PE bag, my purple ski/sport bag and my old orange school bag. I think you needed to proof red over it because there is a fair amount of grammar mistakes but otherwise good. One area that you could work on is maybe not repeating things and making sure that what you say makes sense. My room has a fresh air smell and, in the morning you can hear the birds chirping outside, if you were to walk into my room it would be clean and tidy just the way I like it. For next time you could work on your punctuation (commas, full stops) and spelling. I look up at the ceiling and see a spider in the corner. My bed is very comfortable, fluffy and soft. Like I mentioned before, my windows take up quite a lot of space, meaning that I don't have very much room for any other decorations. Tattoo Aftercare Saniderm, The layout of my room is perfect because I have recently moved my furniture around so it is exactly how I want it. I think you edited the grammar well with making it make sense but there were a few spelling mistakes and no capitals for I You spelt it as color (the American way). I dont really have any toys, My room has a lot of matching colors because my room is a modern color. But you a lot of descriptive words. My miniature dog and cow sculptures sitting on my desk beginning to gather dust. I liked the simple ideas of your description as they stuck to what they were made for and didn't go off topic I am happy that I have a couch in my room it helps my back I dont know how but it does, sometimes it's easy to fall asleep on it after a long day of work. Style of the room is mine and only mine if anyone can match my unique style they all mash up together to make the bedroom mine. My bedroom is a medium size which I think fits everything in nicely. There is a massive window in front of you as you walk into my bedroom. By Will Hayden. 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